Not sure what's being referred to when she says "incorrect one".
I believe I have seen cases where the notification pane doesn't pick up an invite.
I have iCal/Mail set to automatically put invites into iCal; Zimbra is also configured to put invites tentatively onto my calendar. With this config, I rarely have a problem, and if I do, it's always tied to cases where I trigger a change at the client when it's out of sync with the server.
E.g., I invite some people to a meeting, then I want to change the alarm to work around
Bug 29235 – CalDAV: Audio alarm information is lost after you sync appt. In the meantime, someone has already accept my invite. The server has updated the meeting to include this acceptance, but iCal hasn't yet synched. So when iCal tries to sync my alarm change up to the server I get an error. What I do is revert to server, which picks up the acceptance, and then I change the alarm, and it works.