oh my GOD it works !!!!
after about a month and more or playing with config files and so forth.. and reading the forums i came across 2 very interesting post... even thou they are old post.. i would share them with you
http://www.zimbra.com/forums/installation/365-smtp-relay-print.html (take special note of where he mentions that in the relay_Mta Henry got it to work via placing the ip address of the relay mta instead of its name)
and also
http://www.zimbra.com/forums/administrators/6041-trouble-sending-mail-all-messages-deferred.html (after i switched the IP address for the name in the gobal settings i was getting connection times... lucky i came across this link a few hours after

)
so now i can send and receive email via my zimbra box using my relay_mta for sending mail externally..
thanks to all u good people.. i hope this helps someone who was stuck like me..
on another note .. is it possible for me to get an extended trial license of the network trial.(for another 15 days). since it took about 30+ days to figure out that issue ?
thanks a mil
