[intangible]

I had to do a few things to get the statuses and stats showing properly:

First, my /opt/zimbra/logger/db/data/logger.sqlitedb file didn't have any schema, so I did this as root:
rm -r /opt/zimbra/logger/db/data/*

Second, I wanted to verify all my permissions, so as root:
/opt/zimbra/libexec/zmfixperms

Then I ran this as the zimbra user to create the /opt/zimbra/logger/db/data/logger.sqlitedb and /opt/zimbra/logger/db/data/rrds directory:
/opt/zimbra/libexec/zmlogger&

I then had to kill that zmlogger process because it still didn't work: killall zmlogger

I then noticed the /var/log/zimbra-stats.log file was staying empty... after much digging, I found the /etc/syslog.conf file wasn't modified during the installation like it should to include zimbra-stats.log I backed up my /etc/syslog.conf file and then ran this as root:
/opt/zimbra/bin/zmsyslogsetup

Restarted Zimbra, and now everything works. I think the syslog.conf not getting updated was the cause of the whole problem.